Resting

Take a Break from the Chaos - Desiring God blog

"For those of us who are in Christ, we want to come back better, not only rested, but more ready to love and sacrifice. We want to find new clarity, resolve, and initiative, or return primed to re-double our efforts, by faith, in our callings in the home, among friends, at work, and in the body of Christ.

One benefit of silence is simply searching the depths of our own souls, asking what our blind spots have become in the rush of everyday life. In the busyness, is there anything important I’m neglecting or repressing? How am I doing in my various roles? What needs refocusing?"

Rest is hard, yet crucial. I don't like stopping, slowing or admitting I can't do something by myself. But God made me, I am dependent on Him and He has built within in me (and all of us) the need to stop, rest, rejuvenate. To rest is to stop thinking about that to-do list, to slow or silence the internal monologue, to quiet the anxious heart and to meditate on and praise God, to read His Word, talk with Him and listen to what He has to say. Rest is not escapism from the worries and needs of the day but it is to refocus on the one who made me and sustains me.

Christmastime Peace

December is usually a hectic, chaotic, rush-rush month, with presents to buy and wrap, gatherings to arrange and be at, Christmas services, weddings and so on. The start of the month was like that for me but things have surprisingly settled down. There's a calmness and peace about my weeks right now. Yes, I'm preparing for beach mission and cooking for the team. Yes, there's a CRE Christmas service to prepare and run. But I find I have time for reflection and reading, for catching up with friends, for decorating the house in celebration of our Lord Jesus' birth.

Today I read this from the True Woman blog:

"My favorite Christmas word is Immanuel. That word tells us that Jesus is not only out there at God's right hand, interceding for us, out there preparing a future home for us—He is here now, living with us.

• When you get up in the morning, God is with you! 
• When you go to work, God is with you! 
• When you talk on the phone, or email, or take a walk, God is with you! 
• When you are frightened and anxious, God is with you! 
• When your needs exceed your income, God is with you! 
• When you are alone, or tired, or teary, God is with you! 
• When your health is failing, God is with you! 
• In times of pain and in times of joy, God is with you! 

As you read this right now, God is with you!"

How encouraging is that! The God of this world, Creator, Sustainer, Saviour, is with us! We are never alone!

May you find time to meditate on God and accept the peace that He gives to you. What greater gift than Jesus Christ, born as a man, to live as one of us but perfect, so that he could die in our place and take away our punishment for ignoring and rebelling against God.

Remember that Gift this busy season, that because of Jesus you are not alone, God is with you.

Sharing Life

Last week was a wonderful week of meeting with several different women, for several different reasons. After a season of admin, organising and management it was wonderful to be out and about, sharing life and thoughts with the women of our church. Whether it's over a cuppa as we discuss which women's conference to focus on for next year, or helping a mum tidy the kid's craft box (which I loved!), there is potential for the love, patience and grace of God to be shown and spoken of, there is the chance to share in the struggles and joys of seeking to live with Jesus as Lord.

I was greatly encouraged recently by the Mustard Lunch-time co-ordinator (of all the groups) that I have a natural way of building relationships, mentoring and discipling young women. What a joy to hear that! May God use that for his glory.

Thinking About Next Year

While this blog was started as part of an assessment I decided I would continue it, and hopefully continue to engage others with the nuts and bolts of my ministry apprenticeship. I'd love to keep hearing from others as share their insights, thoughts, suggestions and encouragements. The scope will now be broadened from Mustard to all aspects of my apprenticeship. This blog has helped me create a discipline of reflection.

Today the chaplain, G (the new student leader) and I sat down to think about and discuss what next year could look like. We all feel that the group should have a strong social and nurturing aspect to the Christians on campus. What that looks like? Not sure yet, but I do know that I will need to change my approach somewhat to foster this vision and to work with the new space (where girls are walking past all the time). It's scary to change and in some senses I feel like the Bible might get sidelined. I'm going to have to do more prep in order for discussion and opinions to flow naturally, while seeking to speak God's word and explain it too. First term (at this stage) will mostly be building relationships and getting to know each other as we eat lunch together.

Transitioning

I was feeling really flat all of yesterday, just kinda blegh, perhaps because there's lots of little things to be working on (such as KidzBiz teachers for Sunday school next year, Christmas celebrations to plan etc). And I was honest with my Mustard girls that's how I was feeling. The chaplain suggested we head over to the year 9/10 area of the school and check it out as a potential space to use for meeting next year. I was able to meet some other students and tell them about Mustard and why we were over here. I think that moving to the senior school would benefit the current group and the wider community - we would be visible and accessible to our intended demographic. It's always interesting trying something new, and we would have to stick at it for a couple of weeks to really determine if it would work. So our plan is to meet there for the rest of the year and try it out. Here's praying that it will be suitable for meeting and discussing and inviting other girls to join us.

Starting to Wrap Up

I'm at that time of year where I start to reflect on where I've come from and what I've learnt. I met with the student leader today, she has one more Yr 12 exam and I shared some thoughts with her on how I have seen God grow her in love, faith and maturity. But what about myself? Have I noticed where God has challenged, sustained, encouraged, corrected and rebuked me?

A fellow MTS-er shared these categories to reflect on (drawn from 1 Thess 2-3):
- the faithful proclamation of God's word under pressure.
- love for people
- persistence in prayer.

I should spend some time thinking about the things I've been involved in this year and how effective I have been in those areas. Another set of categories I will reflect through is this:
- conviction (theology)

- competency (skills) 

- character (godliness)

I suspect that I will see many areas that need more attention (such as prayer - I'm not so persistent or intentional about that).

Cool or Uncool?

A week ago I was part of a Mustard Live event at a local grammar school. We spent about 4 hours with the year 7 girls engaging with the topic of 'cool' and 'uncool'. My group (the girls chose their own groups) incidentally was the cool, popular group - a bit rowdy, think they're above it all. But nevertheless, we had some really interesting and honest conversations about identity and creation, and I could see that some of the girls were challenged or encouraged.

During the day I was also part of a discussion panel (first time ever!) and felt the joy of sharing my faith with these girls in a different manner. One girl asked if I ever doubted God existed. I responded that yes, I had but I always went back to the Bible and saw how God had created the world and revealed himself to people through Jesus. As I shared my experiences with them I was reminded of the beauty and joy of the gospel.

It was wonderful to be a little part of the journey for these girls and I was reminded of the value of honesty and openness. May God keep stirring these girls and bringing them to Him!

Sharing Life

I love meeting with women and sharing life together! On Friday H and I were finally able to catch up and debrief the last few weeks of Mustard and how she was feeling about going into exams and the year ahead. We were able to celebrate some potential opportunities for next year. Most importantly we shared how the gospel is working in our life today.

This is something that I've recently been challenged on - to consider how God is working in my life and smoothing out my rough edges to be more in likeness to Christ. When I meet with women I'm challenged and encouraged by the responses to this discussion, so often what they struggle with is what I too struggle with. And together we can turn to Christ and echo Paul in Romans 7, "Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to our Lord Jesus Christ!" I'm holding on to the hope of renewal and perfection that all believers will one day experience.

A Celebration

Today was H's last Mustard with us as she is now entering her final Year 12 exams. Instead of studying chp 1 of Ruth ('bitterness') we celebrated her contribution to Mustard and the school. I shared a few thoughts comparing secular 'graduation' wisdom and what God has to say to us. I have grown to know and love H and seen her mature in her faith and understanding of being a disciple of Jesus.

As she was the student leader, the face of Mustard in the school, this does leave the question of who will God provide to be the new student leader? Someone who loves God and loves to know Him, someone who can put time and effort into the people side of Mustard. I look forward to seeing who God chooses for this role.

(On a side note - I've been sick this week and I hate being weak and frail! It's hard to recuperate and allow myself to rest because I see everything I 'need' to or 'should' be doing. Please pray that I will be wise in my recuperation and know what things to let slide for a bit)

Pray hardest...

A quote I saw today, "Pray hardest when it's hardest to pray."

I don't automatically pray. I prepare schedules and to-do lists (I may have already mentioned this). I read or sleep or garden. I don't go to the written Word of God when I'm tired and drained. It's curious how we can be refreshed from a conference or holiday or seeing someone make a huge leap in Godliness, but shortly after be worn down and restless again. Oh to be in constant rest with God!

God, give me the strength, focus and patience so that I can work well. Not to please my church or pastor, or to look like I have everything in control but so that I can be a good and faithful steward to the tasks that you have given me. It's all seeming a bit much at the moment, I feel like I'm in charge of too many things. I need you to fill me with you peace and remind me that it is your work and you are in charge. Please help me to serve and love you with all my mind, energy, skills and heart.

Preparing the book of Ruth

I'm in the midst of writing our new Bible study for Term 4. This is something that takes a while and yet I learn so much about the topic because I have to sift through context, meaning and application. It's a process that can be frustrating, particularly when trying to discern what key point I want the girls to take home.

Another challenge is the time-frame of each lunchtime group. We have about 30mins to read the passage and discuss it. For Ruth I have a few choices - choose key verses that point to the main purpose of the chapter, read each chapter each week or spend Week 1 reading the whole story. The main drawback with that option is that I have different girls coming each week and they need to hear the story too. I could email the passages out each week for the girls to read, but will they do that? I need God's help in discerning how to best tell the story of Ruth while not leaving anything out.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

End of Term

Friday the 12th saw us hold our last Mustard session of the term. We ended with 'Gentleness', leaving 'Self-control' for another time. At the start of the term I planned how many hours I would be leading and engaging with this ministry (as I have to have 100 hours to meet the criteria for my subject) and it easily added up, so I thought great! My plans are working. However, as the term has gone by various 'planned' hours have slipped off the list, such as bi-weekly mentoring the student leader and regular catch-ups with the chaplain. This means that my hours are down according to my plan.

But recently I have been having many opportunities to hold lightly my plans, and to not get (as) stressed when it looks like things aren't going to work out (such as trying to find another KidzBiz leader with Term 4 just around the corner).

I don't know the implications for this component of the subject, but I have learnt that because ministry is about people, and people are dynamic, things will change! And it is better to be flexible and persevere than to get worked up just because your schedule is not being filled how you want it to be. God is at work in people's lives and I get to see that!

Faithfulness

What a joy Friday was! 7 girls, including 2 new girls! We enjoyed a robust discussion, at times it was tricky to steer the conversation back to the topic of faithfulness - what it means, how God is faithful, how we can be faithful. But as I grow spiritually I am loosening my hold on things to go my way. I realise the importance of Mustard being a fun, caring space where we can share what's going on in our hearts and sometimes the topic at hand triggers something in someone. We shared stories of faithful Christians we had heard of - people in jail who would rather preach the gospel for an hour and receive an hour's beating in return, in place of staying silent.

Being faithful requires strength! And patience, and hope. And we have hope not in the impossible and unattainable but in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. For Him, anything is worth remaining faithful.

Leading on the Frontlines

Friday and Saturday I spent at the national Acts29 conference: Leading on the Frontlines. A fantastic, soul-and-mind refreshing conference filled with gospel teaching exhorting, correcting and challenging us.

Some reflections:

- To rest my soul I need to dwell on the majesty of God. I know that I don't think and feel God's awesomeness very much, I too easily get caught up in logistics, people management and to-do lists, I forget who I'm working for. Majesty is the fear and gladness of the heart. Be captivated by, dwell on and pursue God's majesty.

- Like a father takes his little daughter to work for the day, not because she's helpful or insightful but because he delights in her and she takes joy in being with her Daddy, so my Father invites me to play with His work, to dabble and potter and help in the little way I can. He delights in me working with Him and I too (should) delight in working by His side.

- In order to lead from the Word you must believe it is the breath of God. To lead effectively the Word of God has to be premier in our lives, acting as the lens through which we interpret the world, residing at the core of every decision. Can't lead by His Word if you're not walking by it, and if you don't know it. Be thirsty!

- Know Jesus and make him known. Create opportunities for unbelievers to hear the gospel, the sower finds the soil, not the other way around. Live with gospel consistency, good deeds point to the gospel.

Goodness

This week in Mustard we discussed 'goodness'. I had a study prepared and we started working our way through it, but God had other plans for the discussion. I felt strongly that we should more deeply discuss the first verse I had chosen for the study, and leave the rest of the questions for personal reflection during the week:

Luke 6:27-28, 35

But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you... love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Why can Jesus say this to us? Why are we to love and do good to our enemies, the frustrating, the manipulative? It's because God loved us while we were still His enemies. This certainly struck the girls in their heart, and mine too! It's easy to say, hard to do. 

In Not Being Overwhelmed

Sometimes there are so many pressing issues to deal with - keeping up with assignments, readings and lectures; maintaining a handle on all the details for church camp; being diligent and persistent in personal devotions and Godliness. Sometimes it all gets a bit overwhelming. I'm taking a week's holiday next week (which I'm very much looking forward to!) but that means I have to be extra organised and on top of everything this week. Then I remember that all I actually have to do is remember God's sovereignty and ask Him for His peace that transcends understanding.

In Mustard last week I had two Mustard live events (one for year 9/10 and on for 11/12), training on Tuesday evening and the usual Mustard group on Friday.

The training was an encouraging time of seeing how we fit with the bigger picture of Mustard across Melbourne and the bigger picture of supporting Christian students on campus to live out their faith.

On Friday there were only two girls, and it can be a bit disheartening to see such a small turn-out but it's an opportunity for deeper and more specific discussion (our topic was peace, incidentally!) and to be a faithful servant more keen on serving God wherever and however than on measuring success by 'worldly' measures. I don't know how that discussion on peace has impacted these girls, and I don't need to, because my role is to be faithful in teaching the gospel.

Seasonal Routine

Something I've noticed in 'doing' full time ministry is that sometimes you don't get to have your regular day off. August is a very busy season in the life of Melbourne Churches - there seems to be a conference every weekend. On top of these conferences I'm busy with training evenings for Mustard. This changes my routine a fair bit but it's simply just the season at the moment. It's a time to reflect on God's grace as He gives me the patience to be out and about more than usual.

My Mustard group has a diverse spread of ages but the younger girls (Gr 5-6) are becoming comfortable and open with thoughts and reflections on our passage. We're working through the Fruit of the Spirit this term, and last week we discussed the differences between joy and happiness. I love seeing these girls arrive, keen to settle into what God has to say about the topic of the week.

Beginning

This year I started a full time 2 year ministry apprenticeship with my church, and through an organisation called Ministry Training Strategy. Alongside this apprenticeship I am studying a Certificate in Theology and am now starting my second semester. For one of my subjects this semester I am to actively participate in one ministry - observing, doing, reflecting and recording my experience. The ministry that I will be 'using' for this subject are a high school discussion/Bible study group called Mustard.

Starting this semester is a bit overwhelming as I have 3x the amount of study that I had last semester (from 1 subject to 3) and my week is currently packed full, as you could imagine working for the church. Yesterday I plotted my study timetable - what is due when - and this has given me a bit of peace as I just have to follow down the list.

I'm looking forward to how God will grow me in my faith, knowledge and service of others.

Rebekah